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Look mom! I'm on that wacky flower page!

Rutabaga Paradox
Artful Death
Voxton Flash Movies
Something Awful
Boned00d & pLaTeDeWd
Wazu the Anti-PK





Flower Faire
Thursday, June 21st, 2001

Flowers VS the EQ fan faire!

We sent the player of Snugglie/Snuggs/Zanjka on a long, dangerous journey* to the frozen tundra of Minnesota to take pictures of Everquest players drinking beer. Click here, and stare in awe at the drunk guys staring in awe at Snugglie's orange hair.
30 minute drive


Blart gets a love toy from Skiler, Dokan gives english lessons, and our field reporters Snuggs & Hallucigen interview Neriak residents on the California Energy Crisis.

Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset
Sunday, June 17th, 2001

This week we say goodbye to Nallian Dontbashum, one of our oldest members. Nallian was taken from us on Wednesday by a big, faceless corporation called Sony.  They slapped a permanent error: 0025 on his account.

But that isn't an excuse to be unhappy. We'll always have good memories of Nallian, he was a special player.  Not because he was one of the first FoH members, or because 'special' is a cheesy euphemism for brain damaged; he was special because of his outstanding roleplay.

It didn't matter if Nal was playing his halfling druid (Bebbe Backribs), troll warrior (Twodogsfooking), dark elf magician (Nallian), or posting on an OOC messageboard - he always roleplayed a bi-sexual Ogre.  Trivial things like game mechanics, back story, other players, ethics, morals, or GMs never got in the way of his roleplaying

We'll see you in the Next Big Game�, Nallian (I hear Microsoft Train Simulator r0x!). Verant can take a player out of the Flowers, but they can never take a flower out of the player...

...not with all their time spent de-flowering innocent young interns.

Chamba's Law is Norrath's Law
Wednesday, May 30th, 2001

Hello! If our cult guild has ever done anything for Everquest, it has made the GM's job easier. Two years ago, GMs had to wait for an offensive player name to be petitioned before they knew it existed. But now, simply by typing, "/who all flowers", their job is becoming a breeze.


While Snugglie was away teaching the people of The Warrens how to enjoy themselves, Zanjka filled in for the newest installment of Swamp Report titled, "The Mole (by Zanjka)".

Big Platinum, Fuck Wood Elves
Thursday, May 17th, 2001

When did there become a need for Flowers of Happiness? Right around the time EQ players saw themselves as gangsta rappers.

If you clicked on that link and heard the song, I apologize. To help clear your mind, here's some Troll Porn by Floggit, and an all new adventure by Unckagobs!

UR Guild Suck.
Thursday, April 12th, 2001



Happiness is spreading across Norrath just like squashed caterpillars across toast! As of this writing, there are Flower members from Paineel all the way to Field of Bone.

The remaining unhappy players are putting up a small resistance however, and can be found shouting phrases such as "haha your in teh noob guild!!1" and "UR Guild Suck U A Mron!".


Verant's name filter gets another beating with Flower's new recruits, and Snuggs takes us on a trip to South Ro... from beyond the grave!

Today's updates are all thanks to our Shaman of Happiness, Snugglie Grundies, who is joining us from her �ber raid guild on Druzzil Ro.

Speaker of �ber guilds, there are a lot of blue server (or carebear server as the geeks like to say) players coming to Rallos for the sole purpose of spreading happiness! Just to name a few, Tork from Legacy of Steel made a flower toon, as did Zoth & Microphone from Blades of Wrath.

Wait a minute, is that the same Blades of Wrath that beat the shit out of Rallos Zek's (unhappy) team in the Test of Tactics 2? I'll be damned. It's something to keep in mind next time you run into a level 4 FoH member.

April Flowers
Wednesday, April 4th, 2001

Welcome homeboy and/or girl! I hope you're having a happy day!

Everyone right now is hyping up The Next Best Game�. Some are looking forward to SB, others AO, DAoC, HJ, JFK, HIV, Ph4t L3wt, and the question has been raised:

Which acronym will Flowers of Happiness play next?

None. We're too happy to leave! So have no fear, we won't be posting any rambling goodbye letters where we tell our virtual friends what we really thought of them, and how our life is so much better now that we watch Survivor and masturbate to the guy instead of play EQ. Nope, we're Everquest playaz for life. Verant deserves us!


Snugglie gives us a report from the swamp, Blart says hello from Velious, Lavern & Shirley become happy, and Boweval.. err.. That's gross, Bow. I also updated the wacky recruits, and re-decorated the screenshots section. I will now leave you happy humans with a little collection of quotes on top of our very own Mcfatass.

The Right to Bear Exploits
Sunday, March 25th, 2001

I have started a petition to stop the greatest injustice Verant has ever imposed on humanity: banning players that use bug exploits. Before going on, I�d like to point out that neither I nor anyone in my cult guild has ever used, or even thought about using a bug. Because of our refusal to exploit, Flowers of Happiness (the last noble guild on Rallos Zek) is at a disadvantage.

Here is the source of the problem; a small line in Verant's Rules of Conduct:

12: You will not exploit any bug in EverQuest. Bugs are defined as something that grants the user unnatural or unintended benefits in game.

Under Verant's unjust law anyone caught using a bug faces punishment, and that usually includes being banned. So when you play Everquest keep Verant's term "Unintended benefits" in mind. Can you spot someone using unintended benefits? It�s easy! Here's who to look for:

  • Players that Levitate in PvP
    (Did Verant intend for levitate to make melee avoidable?)

  • Players that zone-plug to escape a fight

  • Players that cast spells like "Splurt" and "Winged Death"
    (Was it intended for these spells to be unresistable in PvP?)

  • Players that die when your pet bites them
    (Was this intended to make their corpse unlootable?)

  • Players that log into the game
    (Did Verant�s team of 10,000 monkeys writing code on 10,000 Apple II�s really intend for people to play something called "Everquest"?)

Law abiding citizens are being slaughtered by cheaters every day. If all players had access to bug exploits, the cheaters would think twice before using them. So please Verant, reconsider your negative stance on this issue. Remove your law against exploiting. All I�m asking for is equal ground.

"If exploits are outlawed, only outlaws will use exploits."

-Benjamin Franklin

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