Hey you newbie bastiches! Today's swamp report was brought to you by the letters "F" and "U". I'm updating Snugglie's goddamn swamp report while she goes trapsing off to Cazic-Thule knows where. The witches with the purple eyes have all the fun, while I Crabby Zanjka, get to sit here and drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, and bitch about all the fun the tramps are having.

- FINE!!

It wasn't long after I woke up from my nap in the swamp when I heard this cry for help.

Yeah... Uhh... okay, I'm right on that....

... and later on as I was rolling in the muck...


I grabbed my bastard beater stick. It was time for me to take a trip to Guk so Gyzm could get his damn corpse. Before you start sayin' "Oh, ain't she sweet?" You can all go to hell head first. I wanted some damn piece and quiet. There wasn't going to be any of that, which pissed me off. I hate it when people get upset unless I'm the cause of it.

That "mroon" would be me! That cutsie tramp isn't here to give a damn spelling lesson, so I had to improvise. I fuckin' hate improvising.

Yes! "BLIND" starts with "B" and don't forget the letter "P" for poisoned! We went through the letters and got to the letter "y" as in "yell":
... and that FOH PK would be me.

You see that message of a person names Alynne, castin a spell? That's Alynne of Full Circle Of Faith. The Anti-PK guild. She's healing that "mroon", Drolgurd.

Let's refer to Zanjka's Dictionary-

Anti-PK- n,: Player killers who kill in the name of not killing.

Futility -adj.: Whacking on a "mroon" when a high level is healing him.

Hypocrite - n.: See Anti-PK

Mroon -n.: Code word for some one who is blind, poisoned, getting their ass kicked and can't think of anything else to say.

So, I decided to wait for the hypocrite to leave. I went outside to engage in some enlightening conversation with a guy who's name sounds like Reem my ass"!

The conversation was short lived, because Drolgurd grew his testicles back (Horray for Troll regeneration!) and came back out to attack me. Strangely, He wasn't the only person slashing at me....

Nuub was slashing me too.

I did find that a little odd... Flowers usually help each other - OH!

Unable to take the peer pressure, Nuub left. He sure didn't look so happy any more. I told him as much. Then he says some shit about how he's going to kick my ass if I say anything else about this. I had one other thing to say... Kiss my big fat green ass!

Much happier now! He just needed a little nap.

The end.

Fuck ya'll and have a happy fuckin' day.

~Zan Fuck ya'll and have a happy fuckin' day.