Vacation in Rivervale

When you stay in the same spot for nearly a year, word gets around. My days as Swamp Defender had gone from quiet afternoons with maybe an elf bashing or two, to constantly being chased by groups of powercampers.

So that was it. Instead of standing my ground and dying as an honorable swamp defender would, I ran to the zone like a coward. The dwarves, elves, and powercampers were in control of the swamp.

I sat in the Feerrott and sulked over losing my home. It was where I was born, where I cast my first spell, and where I devoured my siblings before they hatched. And I wasn't about to let some annoying anti-pk roleplayers take it! But then I saw a halfee run by me, so instead I followed my tummy... the most cheery place I'd ever seen: Rivervale.

The music the halfees played in their city made me want to kill err slaughter rape pillage dance. I couldn't walk around Rivervale or the Misty Thicket as free as a halfee though, they had a grudge against trolls. So to clear up any ill will against my kind, I set out to let the halfees know I was there to help. I eventually found a halfee-in-need by the name of Joogl Honneybugger. Whenever I gave him toilet paper, the entire Halfling race congratulated me.

After mummifying Joogl with nearly 1000 rolls of TP, I was known as a hero throughout Rivervale.

However, the younger population of halfee, the kind that kills rats and asks "sow plz?", could not be won over with tried&true diplomatic strategies such as toilet paper handouts.

To calm the masses of young halfees, I brought in the brainwashing experts at Flowers of Happiness.

They worked all night......

...but it payed off.

The halflings had finally seen themselves for what they really were: FOOD

With the guards on my side and the young halfees engaging in cannibalism, I was ready to start in on the powercampers!

The druid ring in Misty Thicket was known to have many halfees and powercampers porting in encumbered with platinum. Since camping druid rings gets you zapped by the gods, I sat far away while Bittez (one of the brainwashing halfees) kept me informed of who was porting in.

This halfee's parents named their son Cacaka.

This halfee's parents named their son Cacaca.

HEY! It's the french dwarf! Last time I left the swamp, I ran into this frenchman. We couldn't fight this time because he was out range. So I asked him for a buff instead.

When Arri and I saw each other, we immediatly started casting. I rooted him, and he... he cast Spirit of Wolf on me. I stopped attacking and started questioning my morals. Is it right to kill someone that's helping you? We must have stood there doing nothing for a minute or two until I realized Arri had his spells mixed up. That jerk was trying to snare me. The fighting resumed.

Four of his powercamping buddies showed up and made an attempt at saving his life by starting a firework show on DogDog and I...

...but we still got him. I wanted to run after he died, but DogDog convinced me to go for a quick loot. After that I ran to the Halfee guards, who happily protected me from any retribution.

With my appetite satisfied, my mind wandered back to the swamp. But I didn't think about the circumstances that made me leave, I only thought about who I left behind.

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