It's time to give FoH some order.

[Frybread]

My dears, I have come back from vacation to find FoH in a state of disrepair. I asked all of the good fags to spam me a car, and none had any save for a poop rocket or two, and even those seemed smaller than the poop rockets before I left.

We need rules to return ourselves to order, to return as the best and most mature guild on the entire game world, and to probably beat Onyxeai.

These are general rules for all of FoH in every game, and should also be considered for daily life.

THE NEW Flowers of Happiness Guild Charter Rules and Guidelines to Follow or Else

Mission's Statement:
Our goal is to be the best guild there is in the entire world. To be the best we have to be real good. And being real good means we are hard to join. From now on, IT IS VERY HARD TO GET IN THE GUILD. Probably the hardest guild to get in without comparison in WoW, EQ, or pretty much anything else invented. If you think you had a hard time getting into Stanford wait until you try to join FoH. Here is just a taste of the hardness you will have to overcome to wear the Flower proudly on your chestplate items:

Rules
1. You have to be really, really mature and super old to get in FoH. If you are 13 and think you will understand what us 62 year olds are talking about don't even bother applying. We don't care if you are level 60 in-game if you're not level 60 in real life. Maturity comes from life experience and we are sorry, but 13 year olds have none of the important life experiences us older people have like kissing bitches, smoking, and responsibility and shit. However if you can fool us by carrying yourself like a mature adult you can move on to the next rule.

2. Know how to PvP really well and RAPE THE kiss OUT OF ALLIANCE TILL THA BREAK A DAWN. Corpse camp them, /spit on them, and rape the shit out of their asses and spread it on their face and stomp them and keep casting all of your spells on them until you are 0% mana and yelling really loud AAAAAAAAAAAAH DIEEEEE DIEE FAG ALLIANCE DIEEEE. That's what this server means by the "pvp" on it you have to do that.

3. You have to have respectfulness for others in the guild and people on your team. Your team is like your family, and your guild is like your dad's family. You need to keep them close and respect them but hang out with dad more because he buys you more stuff.

4. Don't be mean and smacktackle the other people in your guild. Remember that people in your guild are your friends regardless of what they do, and you have to love them because they are in the same guild as you. People join this guild to make friends so don't make the opposite of friends (enemies) when you talk in guild. The only exception to this rule is if you're joking, like if you say,

"[Guild] [Pcamper] Hey Gandyelf, I saw your RL picture on the forums, you look like you've really let yourself go since you were born. Help me out, is that mound next to you another one of your giant rolls of fat, or do you call that your wife?"

Then it's ok because that's what friends do, they tell jokes to each other.

5. Remember to have fun. If you're not having fun one of our "fun time" patrol officers will find out and punish you with a demotion and/or removal of guild tabard or in an extreme case removal from guild. We are not here to be serious, we are here to have fun, so don't kiss up because you only have one shot.

6. Write your own rule or you will be demoted, or in an extreme case of no-rule-writing, you will be removed.

Here's some inspiration I looked up over the course of 15 seconds:


http://www.warcraftlegends.com/charter.html
http://www.knightsofthesacred.com/rules/guild.html
http://www.sinvida.net/nuke/modules....harter+%26+FAQ
http://www.sadpandas.net/guild.html
http://wow.valorknights.com/about.aspx
And my favorite...
http://dissonanceguild.com/rules.html

[Vern]

kekeke

<3 Fry

[Zil]

Man, I was reading Dissonance's (oops, I guess that should read: d i s s o n a n c e ' s) guild charter after I got wtf bant, and that is pretty much the EXACT same thing I was thinking.

GOD I'M ONLY 20 I GUESS I HAVE TO LEAVE THE GUILD NOW :*(

Oh, and you forgot to mention that although you are totally against corpse camping, you also encourage it... wisdom such as this is beyond what our primitive, premature brains are capable of comprehending. While the average FoH member is 60-70 years old, each member of Dissonance is actually an immortal being aged no less than a couple thousand years, and their leader is Duncan MacLeod in disguise, and once they beat the game by killing every other player in it they will have to start killing eachother off in a final showdown, because, you know, there can be only one.

HERE WE ARE, WE'RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVEERRRSE

[woodshelf]

7.) Do not, under any circumstance, "spam" another guild/establishment's forums until you are banned and they are forced to roll back the messageboards to a date of pre-spamming. This act is that of someone under the age of 18 (the age pubic hairs sprout and you become a mature adult) and also results in a sub-par reputation.

[Crushz]

8.) When dueling other horde, DO NOT:

A) Smack talk before the duel, for this will be sure to make them unhappy
B) WTFPWN them, for this is a sure sighn of Childish activity
C) Blame your loss on Lag, Abilities being down, They used a potion or heathstone, They were higher level, Their class needs nerfing, or them getting lucky
D) Brag about your win throughout Every possible channel or command you know, even if you were 15 levels lower

Doing any of these things is a sure sighn that you are not level 60 Irl

Remember, happy flowers spread happiness, not hate to members of their own faction

We are loved throughout the server, and will remain to be loved!

<3 For Horde <3

[Zil]

7.) We are a hardcore raiding guild, and you MUST be able to raid 7 days a week for several hours at a time. If you have a full time job, you will be required to put in your notice and must be unemployed before we will consider considering your application guild application. Part time jobs and school are borderline acceptable if they do not interfere with mandatory guild activities and are kept secret, but are highly discouraged.

8.) You must be able to prove to us a superior skill with your character as well as game knowledge. You might wonder, how exactly do we recognize "superior skill"? Superior skill meaning that even though each member of a class is equipped with essentially the same spells/abilities, you must be able to differentiate yourself from others of your class by wtfpwning digital monsters so hard that it triggers an enhanced mode of AI response, including such lines as "Silithid Creeper says: Egad! It appears that that I have been slain! What sorcery has befouled my former existence?!" (read: wtf i got killed) Superior game knowledge will be tested via a rigorous trivia session, including questions such as: "What was Onyxia's nick name in high school? a) The Big O, b) Couch kisser, c) Lardo McFats, d) Joey."

[Gaiety]

69.) State maximum bench press ability IRL in the nearly impossible case that you are beaten in a duel. (Of course the defeat was the result lag/dirty mouse Flowers don't loose FAG)

[danm]

9) FoH follows a Strict DKP system. Each creep you kill gives 1 DKP. Each Item dropped (grouped or not) or purchased from the AH will be subtracted from your DKP total unless you provide it to the guild for bidding by others. Please note that you will be docked for items that end up going to any non-flowers that you are grouped with, so brush up on your ninja skills... this is no guild for slackers!

Remember also that ALL flowers MUST use the PVELog add-on to report all pve kills in guildchat so that our chat-bots can track you DKP, flowers who are found to have aquired items in violation of this policy, or who maintain a negative DKP total for more than 13 1/2 hours will be /guildremoved and have to reapply.

[Boden]

10.) You must be as constant as the Northern star.

[Wackymarv]

[Geandily]

11.) Certain talent specs will be required based upon class, so you must be willing to respec based upon what we need. For example, if YOU ARE A kissING MELEE HUNTER

12.) Applicants must be unguilded to show dedication to the guild (even before you join this is IMPORTANT!) Its like when you are an adopted child, you have to LEAVE your other family before you can join ours (or even app for it)

[Wackymarv]

13.) Must submit self for testing for the Wahoo project.

[mortal]

14) dont die, ever.

[lobnob]

15) MUST USE ONE POOP MACRO CONTAINING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS ONCE EVERY 30 SECONDS (BARE MINIMUM)

[Nallian]

44. must play games at all times and must not suck and must give the Nallian an avatar name of "sucks at drawing"

[mortal]

16) dont die, ever.

[BrianWins]

eleven: cry and moan when people eat your offspring

[Iluv]

rule #17 and one half) Racist comments should not be made unless they are directed towards chinese yellow gold farmers. For example, do not ask people to apologize for things their GOVERNMENT did, 50 years ago....

[Robert]

rule #17 and one half) Racist comments should not be made unless they are directed towards chinese yellow gold farmers. For example, do not ask people to apologize for things their GOVERNMENT did, 50 years ago....

hahaha I'm only kissing with you when I tell you to apologize for Pearl Harbor on TS. Don't take it so personally!

[Iluv]

this only rose ranks get to invite people thing is stupid hohoho, how am I suppose to get aussies now?

[lobnob]

rule 18: ALL non-americans must apologize for pearl harbor

[3rectus]

Section 5214. Withdrawal of distilled spirits from bonded premises free of tax or without payment of tax

(a) Purposes
Distilled spirits on which the internal revenue tax has not been
paid or determined may, subject to such regulations as the
Secretary shall prescribe, be withdrawn from the bonded premises of
any distilled spirits plant in approved containers -
(1) free of tax after denaturation of such spirits in the
manner prescribed by law for -
(A) exportation;
(B) use in the manufacture of ether, chloroform, or other
definite chemical substance where such distilled spirits are
changed into some other chemical substance and do not appear in
the finished product; or
(C) any other use in the arts and industries (except for uses
prohibited by section 5273(b) or (d)) and for fuel, light, and
power; or
(2) free of tax by, and for the use of, the United States or
any governmental agency thereof, any State, any political
subdivision of a State, or the District of Columbia, for
nonbeverage purposes; or
(3) free of tax for nonbeverage purposes and not for resale or
use in the manufacture of any product for sale -
(A) for the use of any educational organization described in
section 170(b)(1)(A)(ii) which is exempt from income tax under
section 501(a), or for the use of any scientific university or
college of learning;
(B) for any laboratory for use exclusively in scientific
research;
(C) for use at any hospital, blood bank, or sanitarium),
(including use in making any analysis or test at such hospital,
blood bank, or sanitarium), or at any pathological laboratory
exclusively engaged in making analyses, or tests, for hospitals
or sanitariums; or
(D) for the use of any clinic operated for charity and not
for profit (including use in the compounding of bona fide
medicines for treatment outside of such clinics of patients
thereof); or
(4) without payment of tax for exportation, after making such
application and entries, filing such bonds as are required by
section 5175, and complying with such other requirements as may
by regulations be prescribed; or
(5) without payment of tax for use in wine production, as
authorized by section 5373; or
(6) without payment of tax for transfer to manufacturing bonded
warehouses for manufacturing in such warehouses for export, as
authorized by law; or
(7) without payment of tax for use of certain vessels and
aircraft, as authorized by law; or
(8 ) without payment of tax for transfer to foreign-trade zones,
as authorized by law; or
(9) without payment of tax, for transfer (for the purpose of
storage pending exportation) to any customs bonded warehouse from
which distilled spirits may be exported, and distilled spirits
transferred to a customs bonded warehouse under this paragraph
shall be entered, stored, and accounted for under such
regulations and bonds as the Secretary may prescribe; or
(10) without payment of tax by a proprietor of bonded premises
for use in research, development, or testing (other than consumer
testing or other market analysis) of processes, systems,
materials, or equipment, relating to distilled spirits or
distilled spirits operations, under such limitations and
conditions as to quantities, use, and accountability as the
Secretary may by regulations require for the protection of the
revenue; or
(11) free of tax when contained in an article (within the
meaning of section 5002(a)(14)); or
(12) free of tax in the case of distilled spirits produced
under section 5181; or
(13) without payment of tax for use on bonded wine cellar
premises in the production of wine or wine products which will be
rendered unfit for beverage use and removed pursuant to section
5362(d).
(b) Cross references
(1) For provisions relating to denaturation, see sections
5241 and 5242.
(2) For provisions requiring permit for users of distilled
spirits withdrawn free of tax and for users of specially
denatured distilled spirits, see section 5271.
(3) For provisions relating to withdrawal of distilled
spirits without payment of tax for use of certain vessels and
aircraft, as authorized by law, see 19 U.S.C. 1309.
(4) For provisions relating to withdrawal of distilled
spirits without payment of tax for manufacture in manufacturing
bonded warehouse, see 19 U.S.C. 1311.
(5) For provisions relating to foreign-trade zones, see 19
U.S.C. 81c.
(6) For provisions authorizing regulations for withdrawal of
distilled spirits free of tax for use of the United States, see
section 7510.
(7) For provisions authorizing removal of distillates to
bonded wine cellars for use in the production of distilling
material, see section 5373(c).
(8 ) For provisions relating to distilled spirits for use of
foreign embassies, legations, etc., see section 5066.

[Unuca]

Can I still be my jerk self?

[Snuggs]

Rule 19) There will be no sexist jokes against girls or women allowed on Team Speak or in guildchat. It would not be fair, since women can't use the internet anyway, and even if they could, it would have to take time away from doing the dishes or folding laundry in order for them to respond.

[Zil]

I actually have my computer set up next to the washer and dryer

Sometimes I have to move the monitor around to make room on the ironing board but it's all in a day's work!

[Anar_Heykid]

20) Dump your excretions in my eye sockets

[Strombaad]

I actually have my computer set up next to the washer and dryer

Sometimes I have to move the monitor around to make room on the ironing board but it's all in a day's work!

Thats so kissing hot omg

[Bhauk]

must pay homeage to me any time you use any poo macro ever because the poohaus started it and i cant laugh at anyones jokes unless im getting attention too

you have to pretend to like gay sex because even if its gross its funny to say its true about you (unless you end up making people leave the guild then its just kissed up)

[Anar_Heykid]

are you saying pensi is kissed up?
i suddenly dont like you so much

[Bhauk]

Yes, in fact if I was the leader I would ban him.

[lobnob]

ill ban u, faggot

[Anar_Heykid]

much h8

[kerri]

pensi>>>>all

[Nebby]

27) do not be bhauk

[Bhauk]

28) do not understand sarcasm

[danm]

I think 2 generally applies to the internet as a whole... we probably don't need it specifically spelled out in our charter.

[Smokes]

FoH order sux now ever since EQ was done. wanna be Flowers where is the old flowers at? we need somting plz

[Fiver]

rule number whatever) you have to have a really hot girlfriend IRL and must not live in your parents basement and be a fat slob who has mustard stains and sweat stains on their overstretched beater. All this just in case someone threatens you're honor you can bring it up.

[Smasharoo~]

19.) Minimum penis size to join is 9 inches in in length and 5 inches in diameter. Girls must have a vagingler that can accomodate said penis. Also, you must remind 12 people a day that you are indeed hung to a degree thought possible only of porn stars.