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Thread: HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER.

  1. #1
    Guest Zanaver's Avatar
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    HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER.

    For those who have not seen the brilliance of George Zimmer, CEO and Founder of Men's Wearhouse...

    Ashlee = Ashly Simpson.


    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. LAST NIGHT I UNSHEATHED MY MUNGO MAN SPOUT FROM MY JEANS AND FLOPPED IT DOWN IN FRONT OF ASHLEE - HER SENILE DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBOR TAPPED AT HER CEILING BECAUSE OF THE CLAMOR. SHE WAS BARELY ABLE TO NIBBLE AT MY PLUMP, PRODIGIOUS MEMBER BEFORE I GRABBED IT LIKE A LASSO AND SMACKED HER ACROSS THE FACE SO HARD SHE FLEW, SPINNING, ONTO THE BED BENT OVER - AWAITING THE ADMISSION OF MY THROBBING ACREAGE OF FLESH. SHE COULD ONLY TAKE 30 SECONDS OF HALF MY SCROTAL CAMEL BEFORE SHE FAINTED. I FINISHED UP AND BESTOWED A STUNNING LIKENESS OF THE POPE ON HER BACK IN BABY SPACKLE. I USED HER TOOTH BRUSH AS TOILET PAPER AND LEFT A QUARTER ON HER ASS. SHE CALLED ME FOUR TIMES TODAY.
    I GUARANTEE IT.

    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, BABY, I WILL BLOW LIKE A SHOTGUN THROUGH YOUR UTERUS. IT'LL SHOOT OUT YOUR EARS BEFORE YOU CAN SAY BEEF JERKY. MY COCK SHOULD BE DOING PILE DRIVERS ON YOUR TONSILS WHILE YOU HUM MOZART'S MAGIC FLUTE. YOU'D GET SO SOGGY WET WE'D NEED A MOP. I GUARANTEE IT.


    HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AND I WANT TO BEND YOU OVER A PING-PONG TABLE AND FORCE YOU TO READ HARPER'S BIZAAR WHILE I VIOLATE A SERIES OF YOUR ORAFICES. I'LL COUNT EACH PLUNGE OF MY INVADER IN GREEK. YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR NOSE RING WILL MAGNETIZE. I GUARANTEE IT.


    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO TAKE ASHLEE OUT FOR A PICNIC IN A PARK, LIE HER DOWN COMPLETELY FLAT ON THE PICNIC BLANKET, BALANCE A PABST ON HER BACK, AND RIGOROUSLY VIOLATE HER FROM BEHIND - QUIZZING HER ON BASIC GEOMETRY IN SWEDISH WHILE SHE HAS A MOUTFUL OF A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH AND ANTS CRAWLING INTO HER ARMPITS. SHE WILL CUM SO HARD HER FACE WILL MELT LIKE THAT NAZI ASS IN RAIDERS. I GUARANTEE IT.

    SHE'S GOT THAT ENORMOUSE JAY LENO JAW WHICH MOST PEOPLE DON'T FIND ATTRACTIVE BUT THAT LARGE JAW ALLOWS ME TO CRAM EVERY FAT INCH OF MY GROIN EGGPLANT DOWN HER THROAT WHILE TEARS STREAM DOWN HER FACE AS SHE TRIES TO LIPSYNCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. IF SHE BLACKS OUT, I JUST FLIP ON SPORTSCENTER AND CRACK OPEN A PABST ON HER BUCK TEETH. I GUARANTEE IT.


    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE, I'D LIKE TO BEAT YOUR CHEST WITH MY ENORMOUSLY HEAVY, THROBBING PELVIC CROCODILE UNTIL I GEYSER A HUGE WATERFALL OF STICKY BABY DRESSING ON YOUR FACE. I'LL MOP IT UP WITH MY THICK HEAD AND SLAP IT ON YOUR LIPS SO THEY DON'T CHAP. YOU'LL CUM SO HARD YOUR DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS WILL NEED TO CHANGE THEIR SHEETS. I GUARANTEE IT.



    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU BETTER START PRACTICING WITH 2 LITER COKE BOTTLES BEFORE YOU RECEIVE MY EXUBERANT EPIDERMAL CORDAGE. MY AMPLE HEAD TEEMING WITH MAN HOOCH IS SO COLOSSAL THAT GOD TRIPS OVER IT. I GUARANTEE IT.

    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. I WOULD LOVE TO FLIP YOU SIDEWAYS ON TOP OF AN UPRIGHT PIANO, GRAB YOU BY THE PONY TAILS, AND kiss YOU DEEP WHILE YOU RECITE THE POEM O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN. YOU'LL COME SO HARD I'LL NEED AN UMBRELLA. I GUARANTEE IT.

    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. YOU CAN REMENISS ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD WHILE I WREAK HAVOC ON YOUR CERVIX. I'LL JUST HOLD ON TO YOUR TITS THEN - YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR EYE PATCH WILL FLIP. I GUARANTEE IT.

    HOW DOES IT FEEL TO HAVE OVER 23 DISTINCT SPECIES OF RAINFOREST LIFE SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL IN THAT GAPING GUNT OF YOURS? THAT TINGLING IS A YEAST INFECTION SO SEVERE YOU COULD BAKE BREAD. I GUARANTEE IT.

    HI... I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ASHLEE.. I WOULD LIKE TO kiss YOU NICE AND DEEP IN THE SHOWER - YOUR FIST CLENCHING HALF OF MY COCK AT THE BASE WHILE THE OTHER HALF SLOWLY PENETRATES YOU. YOU WILL BE BLINDFOLDED WITH A HAIR FULL OF SHAMPOO WHILE RECITING THE LYRICS TO THE BEATLES' ROCKY RACOON. WHEN YOU GET TO THE PART ABOUT GIDEON'S BIBLE, I WILL IGNITE MY COCK FUSE AND BLOW A LOAD SO HUGE YOU'LL GROW AN ADAM'S APPLE. I GUARANTEE IT.

  2. #2
    I was going to read that but my eyes caught on fire and fell out. Thanks JERK!
    #1 IRL PK MACHINE!

    100% Crackhead!

  3. #3
    oll im so durnk rghtnw Hobbit's Avatar
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    hahahahahahahahahahaha
    WTF WHY DID YOU KILL ME?

  4. #4

  5. #5
    did not read
    Code:
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         ;    `._|                | \  )`      .'.'   `./_" (     
         :      \|   FIGHT FOR    | (`._..--**" : .-    ; `"'     
          \      |  FLUORIDATION  |  `----**"T"" " `+.  |         
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         _.-*"*- |   WRITE YOUR   |            / /      '         
     .-*" _      |  CONGRESSMAN   |      __..-'\       /       
      "+,'___..--|                |--**""       `-.__.'           
        ""       +----------------+

  6. #6
    Guest Zanaver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dayse
    did not read
    read the first one.

    ffs they are in paragraphs

    funniest thing i've read, and i laugh every time i read it.

    "HI.. I'M GEORGE ZIMMER - FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. AND I WANT TO BEND YOU OVER A PING-PONG TABLE AND FORCE YOU TO READ HARPER'S BIZAAR WHILE I VIOLATE A SERIES OF YOUR ORAFICES. I'LL COUNT EACH PLUNGE OF MY INVADER IN GREEK. YOU'LL COME SO HARD YOUR NOSE RING WILL MAGNETIZE. I GUARANTEE IT. "

  7. #7
    I thought of this myself. Nallian's Avatar
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    I GUARANTEE IT

    ruflrufl

  8. #8
    Unregistered Snozberry's Avatar
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    Funny, but I don't get it


    (I've seen the commercials but what's Ashly Simpson got to do with anything?)

  9. #9
    Guest Zanaver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LOLSnozberry
    Funny, but I don't get it


    (I've seen the commercials but what's Ashly Simpson got to do with anything?)
    she did that snl messup where she was caught lip syncing

    george zimmer decided to cheer her emo ass up






    which woman doesn't want a stunning replica of the pope on her back in baby spackle?

  10. #10

  11. #11
    Unregistered danm's Avatar
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    'fraid I don't get it either...

    Quote Originally Posted by The Butt View Post
    logic is like, hieroglyphics

  12. #12
    Who ever said it was something to be gotten?

  13. #13
    brian's Avatar
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    nf;dr

  14. #14
    This thread is useless without a video

  15. #15
    what about a gif? I could make a giff *commences gif making*

    I have no further rebuttle other than you sir, are a f4g.

  16. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by Kosher
    what about a gif? I could make a giff *commences gif making*
    I'd have to see it first

  17. #17
    not my best work

    CENSORED

    I have no further rebuttle other than you sir, are a f4g.

  18. #18
    oll im so durnk rghtnw Hobbit's Avatar
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    bant
    WTF WHY DID YOU KILL ME?

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