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Thread: Laundromat Adventures: Punch a Stranger

  1. #1
    Unregistered Orbi!'s Avatar
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    Laundromat Adventures: Punch a Stranger

    I have to go to the laundromat once a week. This allows me some encounters with strange people. Tonight's was by far the oddest. I was getting some clothes out of the dryer and I caught a glimpse of a guy smoking a cigarette, looking at me from outside. I finished unloading my clothes and sat down to continue reading my book. Not 5 minutes later he opens the door to the laundromat, and says, "Hey, can I talk to you outside about something?" and I said, "Sure, what?" and he says, "Outside." and I go outside. In the back of my head I thought he wanted to fight. Turns out, that's exactly what he wanted.
    I step outside and he looks me up and down. He says, I've got a proposition for you. He holds out a $100 bill. He says, "I will pay you $100 if you beat me in a fight." to which I laugh. I thought he was joking. I said no thanks. He says, Come on! It's $100. I say no again, and he says, "Ok, I'll give you $100 just to fight me. Even if you lose". After I keep saying no, he tries harder. "I will give you $100 just to hit me 3 times. I won't even hit you back." again I say no, laughing the whole time and asking him why he wants to fight.
    We start up a small conversation (interrupted every little bit by him, double, triple, quadruple checking that I won't fight him) and he tells me about how he really wants to fight tonight. He's a local contractor/plumber. He has tattoos too and we compare. He's 33. He says, on his best day he's fought 8 cops and been to jail. There's a bar across the street - I tell him to go there. He says he's been there and nobody would fight him. I ask him why he's mad? He says, I'm not mad. I got married last week. I said, "Oh, so that's why you're mad." and he says, "No! I just want to fight tonight. Look, I'll even go get more money." I assure him that no amount of money he would pay me would make me hit him.
    I know if someone before tonight asked me, "Would you hit a complete stranger in the face for $100?" my answer would be a resounding, "Sure, why not?!" but after tonight I would answer differently. I'm a peaceful person in the first place, and also paranoid. Not only did I not want to cause him harm, but I immediately thought of legal consequences if I hurt him. Although my adrenaline was going the whole time, I wasn't scared of being hurt. He even said he wouldn't hit me back. I dunno, I guess I just couldn't punch a complete stranger in the face for no reason. Could you?

  2. #2
    Probably wanted to test stand your ground law on you.

  3. #3
    I've made a huge mistake Thelemonsong's Avatar
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    You're a plumber who doesn't own a washing machine?
    http://cdn.breitbart.com/mediaserver/Breitbart/Breitbart-Sports/2013/01/05/alfred-morris-ap.jpg

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thelemonsong View Post
    You're a plumber who doesn't own a washing machine?

  5. #5
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    Plumbers are filthy, they get poop in their mouth, why would they care about regular clothes washing?

    not disrespecting the job here, just know some plumbers and they say "we all taste our work" ewwwww human pooopppppp

  6. #6
    Friar in the Church of Blart Pfunk's Avatar
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    Punching people hurts. I mean it hurts YOU. Unless you are a trained fighter, using your fist to hit things makes your fist sore. You have just as much chance of breaking your hand as you would of busting the dude's jaw.

    This is a weird situation to be in and I wouldn't have trusted that dude either.

    Maybe you should have taken his $100, kicked him in the crotch, and then hid behind the washing machines.

  7. #7
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    Trick to not hurting yourself when you punch people is to only punch them in the softer bits. Sure you wanna sock em in the mouf, but guess what teeth are for biting!

    Pro tip : punch them in the butthole
    Last edited by Crying Eyes; 04-16-2012 at 01:45 PM.

  8. #8
    Friar in the Church of Blart Pfunk's Avatar
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    A good, hard slap is nearly as good as a punch.

    If you are accused of being gay when you slap someone, just claim that you are a master of Empty Palm Shaolin or something.

  9. #9
    You're a kissing human being. Chairman Kaga's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pfunk View Post
    A good, hard slap is nearly as good as a punch.
    Who ever thought you could teach them to drive tanks?
    Drive tanks through banks

  10. #10
    Unregistered Orbi!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doublevision View Post
    Probably wanted to test stand your ground law on you.
    I thought about this later. His pupils were dilated but he wasn't slurring his speech or being careless. I think maybe he was on coke? Just trying to do a social experiment? Or, I thought, he was a newlywed and maybe they got in a fight. Perhaps showing up at home with some scrapes and bruises would garner some sympathy from his wife? Funny thing is I've never fought in my life, and I imagine I would be a horrible fighter. I'm sure I wouldn't have put any damage on him.

    You're a plumber who doesn't own a washing machine?
    Ironic I know. I rent a small studio apartment and my own washer/dryer is a sacrifice I make for cheap rent. I'm really getting tired of the laundromat, not only because of crazy encounters like this but it costs me $15/week to do laundry there. I'm thinking about moving.

    Plumbers are filthy, they get poop in their mouth, why would they care about regular clothes washing?
    I won't deny this... completely. We are a dirty bunch, not afraid to get our hands dirty. I wear rubber gloves for the nasty stuff though. And I've worked in kitchens, I imagine your hands touch nastier things than mine. Let's not pretend like we haven't seen the underside of a kitchen cooktop before. I wash my clothes regularly though, and the ones I crawl in/do sewer jobs in never get into my place. I have a dirty clothes bin outdoors.

    This is a weird situation to be in and I wouldn't have trusted that dude either
    I figured after I hit him he would want to hit me back, no matter what he said prior. I also gave slapping him some serious thought, too. Hah.

  11. #11
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orbi! View Post

    I won't deny this... completely. We are a dirty bunch, not afraid to get our hands dirty. I wear rubber gloves for the nasty stuff though. And I've worked in kitchens, I imagine your hands touch nastier things than mine. Let's not pretend like we haven't seen the underside of a kitchen cooktop before. I wash my clothes regularly though, and the ones I crawl in/do sewer jobs in never get into my place. I have a dirty clothes bin outdoors.


    .
    I don't work in kitchens anymore...and now I certainly touch worse things than you...like the inside of dog butts =(

  12. #12
    You're a kissing human being. Chairman Kaga's Avatar
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    should have made him go behind it decked him and stole his shit baltimore style
    Who ever thought you could teach them to drive tanks?
    Drive tanks through banks

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Chairman Kaga View Post
    should have made him go behind it decked him and stole his shit baltimore style
    i live near baltimore

    also I really think he was testing stand your ground

    I realize california castle law does not cover public places, but with trayvon in the news and all this seems like homie was looking for someone to hit him so he could be like "na dude self defense i was forced to shank his ass"

    Also, how have you never been in a fight before? Like you never got in a fight growing up or anything??

  14. #14
    Unregistered Orbi!'s Avatar
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    I suppose I got lucky. Or unlucky - depends on how you look at fighting. I've always been larger than my peers. I was ridiculed in middle school for being (very) overweight, but nobody ever tried to get physical with me. Probably because I was (very) overweight, hah. Now that I'm a grown up, I am pretty good at defusing situations without things getting physical. I deep down believe that violence is not the way to solve stuff.
    My brother and I used to wrestle fight, but it wasn't serious. The most serious it got was one day, he hit me in the face. I told my step Mom, and she said, "Hit him back, then." I will never forget. I walked up behind him while he was sitting at the dinner table and straight up sucker punched him in the back of the head. I ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. After that day he stopped.

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    Pic included for reference. I was 15 in this photo. 6'0" probably 285 in this photo. The fattest I got was at 16, 306 lbs. People were mean but never physically threatening.

  15. #15
    First time I got knocked out I was 13 and fought this 16 year old.

    First time I knocked someone out I was 14 and fought another 14 year old.

    I used to get in at least 1 fight a year during school, and outside of school 3-6 fights a year (from like 8 years old to 17 years old when I graduated).

    It always amazes me to find people that have NEVER been in a fight.

    I can't even really remember getting picked on (or picking on people). I guess maybe it didn't take much to get me going. I haven't gotten in a fight in over 5 years though (mostly because I don't want to get arrested...although about 2 months ago I was drunk and definitely tried to fight 2 or 3 other drunk guys who were way more annoying than me until some guy who I had just met and was cool with stepped in) and feel I've gotten good at diffusing situations also!

    I definitely feel like violence solves shit quick and easy, but the law disagrees.

    As far as lucky vs unlucky, never getting in a fight=unlucky

    The adrenaline rush from combat is one of the greatest highs you can ever experience.

  16. #16
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doublevision View Post
    First time I got knocked out I was 13 and fought this 16 year old.

    First time I knocked someone out I was 14 and fought another 14 year old.

    I used to get in at least 1 fight a year during school, and outside of school 3-6 fights a year (from like 8 years old to 17 years old when I graduated).

    It always amazes me to find people that have NEVER been in a fight.

    I can't even really remember getting picked on (or picking on people). I guess maybe it didn't take much to get me going. I haven't gotten in a fight in over 5 years though (mostly because I don't want to get arrested...although about 2 months ago I was drunk and definitely tried to fight 2 or 3 other drunk guys who were way more annoying than me until some guy who I had just met and was cool with stepped in) and feel I've gotten good at diffusing situations also!

    I definitely feel like violence solves shit quick and easy, but the law disagrees.

    As far as lucky vs unlucky, never getting in a fight=unlucky

    The adrenaline rush from combat is one of the greatest highs you can ever experience.
    I stabbed a guy when i was 15?

    only a little bit, he didn't die.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Crying Eyes View Post
    I stabbed a guy when i was 15?

    only a little bit, he didn't die.
    nice, what led up to that?

  18. #18
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    Nothing that makes me seem like anything other than an idiot thug =(

  19. #19
    da son spin round da earf Rabbid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crying Eyes View Post
    I stabbed a guy when i was 15?

    only a little bit, he didn't die.
    Yourself doesn't count

  20. #20
    it's slang for homo sex, he was just trying to seduce you.
    Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. preooww."

  21. #21
    i fought alot but who care thug life baby

  22. #22
    You're a kissing human being. Chairman Kaga's Avatar
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    *posts about how many fights ive been in*
    Who ever thought you could teach them to drive tanks?
    Drive tanks through banks

  23. #23
    I want to see the sky turn yellow Crying Eyes's Avatar
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    +posts about generic response memes&

  24. #24
    Friar in the Church of Blart Pfunk's Avatar
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    I did a lot of fighting when I was younger.
    I lost a lot.

    Now I just say that I am a peaceful person to avoid getting my ass kicked.

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